Human corpses are floating through the streets of New Orleans and Atlantans are concerned there will be no gasoline. I feel like I am in one of those picture puzzles from Highlights magazine -- the kind where you had to find what was missing from the picture. Only now what's missing isn't a rear wheel on a bicycle or a scoop of ice cream from a cone. It's compassion and sense. Does our burning desire to fill our tanks really override the concern for our neighbors three states over? Have we forgotten how stupid the apocalyptic people looked...
Wednesday, 31 August 2005
Sunday, 28 August 2005
Testing testing 1...2...P
Posted on 20:56 by Unknown
A French lab claims a urine specimen Lance Armstrong provided in 1999 has tested positive for steroids. Results of this test aside, does anyone else find it gross that the French leave old frozen urine samples lying around? I can see freezing sperm, embryos or even your body if you're into cryogenics, but what good is frozen urine? Come to think of it, the Metro stations around the seedy Pigalle district in Paris smelled pretty pungent when I was there, but I always thought the assailants were local. Has anyone tested to see what those yellow cancer...
Friday, 26 August 2005
Large Ladies
Posted on 20:41 by Unknown
Apparently there are two women's bathrooms where I work and one is bigger than the other. Recently on the communal printer I found a memo that read "BLUE EARRING FOUND IN LARGE LADIES RESTROOM." I paraded the memo around and asked people why plus-sized women got their own bathroom. Few found this as amusing as I d...
Tuesday, 23 August 2005
Don't drink the Kool-Aid
Posted on 06:27 by Unknown
Some people market products. Others market skills. The people who most amaze me though are those who make a living marketing themselves. The motivational speaker is the first guy that comes to mind, but really several types fall into this category: politicians, religious leaders, philosophers, etc. Instead of producing a tangible good or provide a service people would rather pay for than do themselves, these people do little more than employ the gift of gab. Those who can't rely solely on their personality offer us a carrot. They may have a small...
Sunday, 21 August 2005
Monolingualism can be cured
Posted on 20:04 by Unknown
Today I ran into an old college classmate from a French course I took fifteen years ago. Oddly enough, I was conducting a children's program in French when she spotted me. We tried to think of people we knew in common. The only people we could come up with was a French family we each had lived with as exchange students. It got me to thinking of what opportunities I have been afforded simply by knowing another language. Not only have I had the opportunity to live in another country, but I've also taught the language. The impact I may have had on...
Saturday, 20 August 2005
Stranger danger
Posted on 20:41 by Unknown
Most children won't hesitate to sit on Santa's lap or offer a hug to a theme park cartoon character come to life. I remember being at the grand opening of a Burger King years ago when the Burger King himself invited a group of us kids to come up on stage. His magic had been sub-par and his exaggerated beard and mustache were so artificial looking that they weren't so much accessories to his costume as they were impediments. Nonetheless I, like most kids, jumped at the chance to do his bidding.The exception to this is the kid who immediately starts...
Friday, 19 August 2005
Betcha can run fast in those
Posted on 17:47 by Unknown
I came home this evening to find that my wife had bought me a new pair of shoes. Putting them on brought back memories of buying shoes as a kid. It always happened around the first of the school year. The shoe sales weasel would press on the shoe and ask how it felt. I don't know why as a kid it never dawned on me to say, "It feels like your mashing on my toe," but I didn't. Instead I would perform the routine geek-walk up and down the aisle of the shoe store. If they were Red Goose shoes I got a prize-bearing golden egg from the campy goose egg...
Wednesday, 17 August 2005
On the road again
Posted on 22:17 by Unknown
Far be it for me to begrudge someone his political affiliation, just cause, or Nascar preference, but do we really need to use our cars as sounding boards for these things? Roadways that were once sprinkled with the occasional "Baby on Board" or "I [heart] my dog" bumper sticker are now littered with W's, fish, and a countless array of colored ribbons. Yesterday I had to avoid rear-ending a van sporting a ribbon made of red and blue puzzle pieces. On it were the words "Autism Awareness." I was already aware of autism before this jamoke cut me off....
Don't touch that dial
Posted on 05:26 by Unknown
I cannot fathom the amount of my childhood that I whiled away in front of a television. I got to thinking about it after discussing old tv shows with co-workers yesterday. Being mostly in the same age cohort, we all grew up with the same 80s milktoast programming. Girls swooned over Alex of Family Ties or Chachi from Joanie Loves Chachi. Guys liked action shows such as The A-Team or The Fall Guy. No one mentioned educational shows unless MacGyver counts as an educational sh...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
