Tonight my shoes are in the middle of the living room floor. My right and left sock are hanging willy nilly from the bedroom doorknob and bookshelf respectfully. My clothes never left the bathroom once I got out of the tub that incidentally is covered in grungy man film and my own body hair. Were I to invite you on a scavenger hunt in my home right now, I'd challenge to find a half-eaten sandwich, a three-day weekend's worth of junk mail, empty CD cases and cans of diet soft drink that are only half empty. Or are they half full? In the VCR is a...
Wednesday, 31 May 2006
Tuesday, 23 May 2006
As a language and linguistics geek, someone who thinks in terms of misplaced modifiers and interdental fricatives, I am quick to pick up on things like new turns of phrase, double entendres and "improper" grammar. I put improper in quotes because I'm a member of the descriptive linguist camp. That means I think grammar should be defined as what people actually say and therefore it evolves over time as opposed to a descriptivist who says grammar is...
Friday, 19 May 2006
First Horizon BankATTN Staunch Lady with No People Skills870 Lawrenceville Suwanee RoadLawrenceville, GA 30043Phone: (770) 338-7600Dear Staunch Lady with No People Skills,On Friday, May 20, 2006 around 11:30 my wife and I entered your branch as you were standing with some coworkers apparently admiring the carpet pattern or perhaps your moderately priced shoes. As we were also carrying our infant daughter our presence increased the number of non-employees in the building to three. When you approached my wife and asked if you could be of assistance,...
Wednesday, 17 May 2006
I wasn't going to be one of those people who chimed in on The Da Vinci Code because I think all too often those who do spout off about the latest craze, whatever it is, just paint themselves to look like mindless me-toos. With some people it's as though they have no opinion until someone else tells them what to think. Sadly I too suffer from a weakness, specifically the occasional inability to suppress my need to explain why my opinion is obviously...
Tuesday, 16 May 2006
This newfound parenthood has afforded me a simple luxury I haven't had in some time, staying up into the wee hours. It's 2:39AM now, and I'll probably be up at least another hour before my shift is over. Late night feedings are hard only if you have to pull yourself out of bed in order to get them done. If on the other hand you don't hit the sack until four, you not only get the feedings done lickity split but you also get time to yourself to enjoy...
Sunday, 14 May 2006
You know what really chaps my ass? Being accosted by people asking me for something before I walk into a store. As I have outlined before, I already have enough issues going to the grocery store without someone's attempts at guilting me into donating to their cause or buying their product. Shopping for the most part is not something I find pleasurable, so when the time comes I want to get in there, get what I need, and get out. And I'd really prefer...
Friday, 12 May 2006
I am struggling not to let my little corner of cyber space become too syrupy with baby pictures and parental epiphanies. Though I fancy myself an upbeat kinda guy, I realize my cyber-self can sometimes come across as cantankerous and opinionated. I like it that way, and I want it to stay that way. That's what makes for interesting blog reading, or at least that's my cantankerous opinion anyway. Rest assured I will return to my male patterned bitchiness...
Thursday, 11 May 2006
As sleepless nights have blurred into restless days for this past week, I have little concept of time. Looking at the calendar, I can tell that only seven days ago my wife and I were downing ginger pork and coconut chicken soup at our favorite Thai place, our last decent meal before heading to the hospital for induction. I was jittery and somewhat irritable. I couldn't finish my dish. I always enjoy a glass of plum wine with Asian food but this time...
Friday, 5 May 2006
Wednesday, 3 May 2006
Remember that old adage about not leaving home without wearing clean underwear? The fear was that if you got into a car crash and the paramedics, whose job apparently was to immediately pull down the pants of the wounded, were to notice you're tightie whities weren't so tidy you would then receive substandard emergency aid. Dirty underwear isn't something I've had to worry about for some time because . . . well I'll save it for Six More Weird Slash Interesting Things about Me . . . but I did recently commit a social faux pas that was equally if...
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