Yahoo Answers crack me up

Have you seen that new section on Yahoo.com where people can post questions and anybody on the planet with an internet connection can then go and offer up answers? I'm quickly taking to this like a street whore to crack. I've heard some people cruise MySpace in a similiar fashion, but I never really got into that. YahooAnswers however is clearly da bomb.

When you first click onto the site you're met with some meaningful and often interesting questions. Today for instance one of the first ones is how a guy can find out his genetic make-up if he's adopted. Yawn. Another asks what someone can do to treat their cat's allergies. Don't let these legitimate questions fool you into outclicking. The real gems are only a few mouse clicks away.

At first I thought the best questions would be in the sexuality department and being somewhat of a perve I quickly checked to find out. It takes a little bit of investigative work to find it. They don't just label a subsection "perverse questions." You have to first click on Health and then Men's Health or Women's Health or something similar. You'll soon find yourself asking where the hell these people come from. Here's a few examples:

Where can i download hot voice, like woman having sex, just audio????
What is the substitution for masturbation who is not married?
I haven't had sex with a girl yet. now im 24. will it be a problem for my future?

I can only surmise many of these are asked by people whose first language is not English. But some of them almost sound like they were asked by someone not of this planet. What kind of answers are these people expecting really? To the lonely bachelor looking for an onanism substitute, might I suggest a cup of General Foods International Instant Coffees? Surely Cafe Vienna will induce the same sensations.

A little more clicking though proves that there are yet stupider people out there asking yet stupider and hence more amusing questions. In dental, one guy asks Will super glue mess up your teeth?. Is he using it to brush his teeth? T he answers are as varied as you might imagine. While there are some caring sad saps out there discouraging the consumtion of high-adhesive airplane glue, there are also people like me suggesting he consume large quantites in hopes that natural selection will run its course. One respondent who identifies himself as John answers back with a good compromise saying if you really have to eat an adhesive, stick to kid glue; its pretty non-toxic. Does John speak from experience?

CalexicoD wants to know Why do people get all retarded when I say the word "retard"? Am I allowed to laugh at this without feeling guilty? Or should I feel ashamed? Speaking of shame, go to the site and search "I am ashamed" and see what strange things people are ashamed of. I promise you will feel much better about your own closeted skeletons.

As for me, I have to get back to Yahoo Answers. Somebody's got to give these stoops the straight dope.