My Experian credit report

Today I took it upon myself to pull up my Experian credit report online. I'm in a good situation right now where I don't necessarily have to concern myself with what my credit report has on it. I have far more credit than I can afford and I don't plan on applying for a mortgage or new insurance or anything like that. But since, like many, I've decided on some new financial goals, I thought it best to make sure no one was reporting anything about me that shouldn't be reported.

Because I used to work for a company that pulled credit reports for third parties making inquiries, I have had more than my fair share of experience reading and disputing the reports from all three of the major credit reporting agencies. From what I saw it was rare that there was a significant error on a credit report unless someone happened to be a junior to a senior or vice versa. When a computer sees a similar name name at the same address it could care less whether or not the social security numbers match or even whether one person is dead and the other is still alive. Two family members with the same name should expect to have to unravel quite a tangled credit history at some point in their future, but anyway I digress. My point is that because I'm very familiar with the whole process, I don't share the mass paranoia that many do when it comes to identity theft or credit histories.

Anyway, here's what I found: Everything looked hunky dory with a few minor exceptions. An auto parts store was still reporting an account as open and unused for the past eight years, and it probably is still open, but since I don't have any use for it, I've disputed it with the hopes that the result comes back as closed. If not, I'll have to take it up with the merchant itself.

I know there are credit report nazis out there that will shout at me that if the account is showing a zero balance that I should not mess with it and instead just let it continue to show as open, but I don't buy that. The last thing I need is for a tech-savvy employee of that company deciding he's going to get charge happy on my credited nickel and make my life a living hell. I would much rather sacrifice a few points on my credit score than put myself at that kind of risk.

Additionally an employer from several years ago was still being listed as my current employer which frankly wouldn't have bothered me so much except that the employer's name was misspelled. I know it's shallow and pedantic of me, but I have little tolerance for that. It's G-W-I-N-N-E-T-T period. No E at the end, in spite of the fact that when I was growing up a sign along side Hwy 29 in Lilburn, GA said Welcome to Gwinnette [sic] County.

It's Gwinnett. Like Button Gwinnett who incidentally was one of the original signers of the Declaration of Independence. His signature to this day is one of the most valuable simply because, unlike other historical signers like Thomas Jefferson or John Adams, Button Gwinnett didn't throw his John Hancock around too much. This is possibly because he died relatively young at the age of 43. He died of complications after being the losing party of a duel. I forget who with though. Georgia public school doesn't ask you to remember that much unless you want extra credit. I seldom shot for extra credit.

Which brings us back to the credit report.

Rooms to Go's banking partner HSBC/RS still shows an account that is over ten years old. Again, it says the account is paid on time in full, but why is that shit still showing on my report? Most of that furniture didn't even survive into my marriage, and that wasn't to happen for another four years after I bought the stuff and I've been married seven and a half years now!

I wouldn't be concerned except that I had a negative experience with Rooms to Go back then and it's left a bitter taste in my mouth ever since. I don't like a company that makes you jump up and down and scream in order to get them to follow through on their own promises. Any asshole customer can make a scene in a store, but it takes a certain degree of social engineering to cause a scene and get the desired result. Been there. Done that. Got the couch, end tables, coffee table, two lamps and an arm chair. The arm chair survives to this day.

The only other thing on the report that irked me was in the personal information section. I used to think the aliases and former addresses didn't matter until I got a few calls at the aforementioned job from people who wanted desperately to dispute inaccuracies in that section of their credit report. One was a woman who was about to be appointed judge and the other was from a man in the federal intelligence industry. Both of their concerns were the same. They didn't want a faulty address showing because their being hired depended on the employer viewing them as honest and forthcoming. An undisclosed address could have been looked at unfavorably.

My bootleg address was weird because it in no way resembled any place I had ever lived before. Furthermore, I mapquested the address and it was in no place I ever would have lived. I wouldn't have wished such a reside on my worst enemy in fact. Sure, I like living on the edge from time to time, but to live in a home where the neighbor's first language is gunfire? No thanks. The last thing I need is to wake up to the sound of someone next door shouting Say hello to my little friend just before riddling my newly purchased Rooms to Go furniture with bullet holes.

Again, I doubt the shady address would really cause me too much to worry about. I'm not likely to be appointed judge or be offered a job where I get top secret phone calls on my shoe phone anytime soon, but disputing it gives me something to do. If someone is pulling up my personal information, I want it to be right.

I'm well aware of the fact that I only pulled one report when there are three credit reporting agencies, Equifax and TransUnion being the other two, but you only get to view a report for free once a year from each of the agencies. If you log onto annualcreditreport.com the site gives you the choice. Point to whichever one you want (or all three) and it comes to your computer screen abzolutely free. I'll get one from another bureau four months down the line, but in the meantime this one should tide me over.

As for that bootleg address, it still puzzles me. Where did it come from and how did it get listed on my report? Part of me wants to go knock on the door and see who answers. Would I be greeted by a knife-wielding gang leader? A unibomber? A Mitt Romney supporter? Possibly all of the above?

What if when I showed up at the door I was greeted by my doppelganger and his entire place was furnished with my old Rooms to Go furniture?

Who knows?

I am a husband and a father now so I cannot go flying into the face of danger the way I used to.

I could always google the address though.