Me so holy

I know I need to buckle down and get to work on revising this blog template, but I'd rather spend my downtime sorting through old pictures.Here's one from my recent road trip up from Florida. Who would have thought I would have spotted His Holiness and the VeggieTales in front of the VIP Spa off I-75? As I drove by he was chanting something about them not being from the one true church but that he still loves themHe loves them long ti...

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Pyramid peddlers be gone

You know if there's any group of people that get on my nerves six ways til Sunday it's pyramid peddlers. I swear I get irritated just thinking about them, those wide-eyed weasels with their cheesy conversation starters and their supposedly slick spiel on how to get rich quick. I don't mean to sound overly nasty but I just think the planet would be a better place without these people.Meryl and I were accosted at the local Wal-Mart by a man-and-woman team just the other day and in the children's toy department of all places! They paid her a compliment...

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Bootleg blog template

As of late I have messed up my blog template and had to temporarily resort to what I used as a blog template back in the day. Let me know how badly this sucks and I may speed up my response time for fixing it. Otherwise this may get deprioritized on my list of pointless things to get accomplish...

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Pass the Grand Duchy on the left-hand side

Barring the Vatican, Luxembourg is the tiniest country I've visited so far. My wife and I arrived there after roughly two and a half hours of driving having started our route on Avenue de Franklin Roosevelt leading out of Gent in Belgium and eventually snaking along the E411 leading to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg. Much like the invitations motorists find when entering Switzerland, Monaco or other small European countries, Luxembourg greets new arrivals with billboards advertising tax shelter opportunities and anonymous banking. Beyond the...

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Grace Jones: one sexy sexagenarian

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An open letter to my daughter

Dear Meryl,Now, just a few weeks short of your second birthday I find myself looking back fondly on the times that you have shared with your mother and me and the growth that you have shown since May 5, 2006 when we first brought you home from the hospital. You have definitely made me a proud father. I could go on and on about the things I adore about you, but here are just a few things that come to my mind right now:Your vocabulary has grown leaps...

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Cincinnati, a city of sliders and slide-offs

On a few occasions, the most recent of which was this past weekend, I have had the opportunity to visit Cincinnati, a city so metropolitan that it merits its own football team, its own baseball team and even its own style of chili. When I go there I am surrounded by constant reminders of my status as an outsider. Not only do these people pronounce pin and pen differently (whereas for me they both rhyme with grin), this weekend the city was taken aback by almost a foot of snow.First of all, that much snow is something that native Georgians typically...

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Phone frenzy

To whom it may concern,Please be advised that the following times, listed in chronological order, are acceptable intervals during which to call my house:7:30 AM - Noon Yes, I am almost always up that early, and if you call before noon, you're guaranteed to catch me before my daughter goes down for a nap. On weekends, the answer you get will be much more jovial if you hold your call until after 10:00 AM.4:00 PM - 7:00 PM Again, I'm awake. Baby is awake. All is well. We might be eating dinner, but we still welcome...

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From Naples to Atlanta: fame and infamy along I-75

Sunday I was saddled with the responsibility of driving my father-in-law's car back to Georgia from southern Florida, all in all a ten-hour drive. The bulk of my day was spent on I-75 watching fellow motorists scoff at speed limits, recklessly change lanes, cut me off unnecessarily, pick their noses, yammer on their cell phones and pull off to buy fudge, pecan logs, coconut spread, citrus products, adult novelties, Cracker Barrel biscuits with sawmill gravy and discounted tickets to Disney World and Orlando time-share presentations. A happening...

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My toddler lost a tooth

My child lost a tooth over the weekend, and I'm sure that had she been five or six I would have relished her right of passage into budding childhood but since she is not yet two, I was not overly ecstatic to hear about the incident. As soon as I got word, my mind went wild thinking about the various horrific possibilities. What about infection? Tooth fragments and such? Besides, I'm a language teacher and I know we rely on our two front teeth for our interdental and labio-dental fricatives like in the words thimble and this or fairy and very....

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