Name a place where you're often kept awake by someone's incessant talking?

Beginning this morning at 6:30 AM people started landing on cocktailswithkevin.com after googling -- get this -- Name a place where you're often kept awake by someone's incessant talking. I mean people from all over the United States, everywhere from Houston Texas to Sacramento California, to Birmingham Alabama to Joliet Illinois. It wasn't just a slew of people all at once either. They came in scattered numbers throughout the day into the evening. How freaking bizarre is that?

I'm guessing there was some sort of trivia question either on the radio or some TV show. Or is it featured in a commercial? What gives?

I can't help but picture Richard Dawson leaning in close to some suburban bimbo with home-highlighted hair¹ and saying to her almost under his breath, "Now if you get this one right, your family goes on to the bonus round; but if not, the Schlebotniks take the lead. Now . . . name a place where you're often kept awake by someone's incessant talking?"

If she's like half the dimwits they ever had as contestants on that show, she'd wrinkle up her nose in cluelessness and say something like, "Ummm . . . a Port-A-John?"

SURVEY SAYS !!!???!!!??!

And then, as though what happens next should be any surprise to anyone with half the intelligence of a tire iron, three large X's would appear on the screen and that familiar game show buzzer would bark out confirming this yokel's unforgivable ignorance for both the studio and home audiences. She would leave the podium and return to her family's side where they would applaud her dumbness and tell her it was a good try. Dumbasses.

Anyway, I feel bad for these internet pilgrims who click on my site thinking I have the answer they've been seeking. People, there are many answers to life's most probing questions that can be found in the pages of cocktailswithkevin.com, so much so that you might consider looking deep into your heart and making a tax-deductible donation.

Just kidding.

It wouldn't really be tax deductible.

Anyway, the answer to this most recently asked probing question could not be found here. Until now.

I did finally in my searching locate a site that listed several suggestions for this sixty-four thousand dollar question. Rather than list the site (because it's far inferior to mine) I'll just hit the highlighted answers. Some people said things like English class, a hospital or at church. I think the most popular answer and one that someone further noted was an answer to a radio trivia question (albeit in Australia and not the U.S.) was an airplane.

That makes sense. Even if the woman one row back isn't talking directly to you when she's asking a row-mate how long he was in Papua New Guinea, if he drank the water, or whether he's accepted Kevin as his lord and savior, you can't avoid hearing the conversation. And if it's the redeye flight you're on, you're sure to be kept from those few desperately sought-after moments of semi-sleep by this nervous Nelly first-time flyer's incessant talking.

So, for those kids in the back of the room who weren't paying attention, the answer's airplane.

Now for the next question: Who would actually drive the Chevy to the levy if they already knew that the levy was dry?

Show your work.

1. I wish I could take credit for this "home-highlighted hair" reference, but I actually stole it from faggotyassfaggot.com. Those funny gays!