Long overdue is this fourth installation of Welcome to My Stuff™. This one comes almost as a response to a dare in which I jovially mentioned that if I were not able to come up with any more stuff of mine to write on, I may have to resort to the sock drawer. Some fellow bloggers held me to it. Here goes.Obviously the six pair shown here don't constitute my entire sock collection. My other socks are hidden under that Tiffany blue bathing suit that I wear to look chic at the beach. I just pulled a few pair that I thought served as a decent representation of my hosiery. So as to provide you with an even more detailed description of what you're looking at, I'll rate the six pair you see here on four factors: attractiveness, practicality, comfort and frequency of wear.
I purchased the pair on the far left during our honeymoon in Paris. Specifically they were acquired from a little overpriced boutique in the subway underneath the Louvre museum. For the most part the Paris Metro is functional at best and some stations smell of bodily fluids. The station underneath the Louvre though fancies itself a tourist-infested mini-mall complete with calendars, sweatshirts and Japanese camera-wielders.
What's the name of that station? Surely if I just walk backwards in
Attractiveness: 5 - They look cool and get comments.
Practicality: 3 - Worked great when I taught French. Not my first choice for job interviews.Comfort: 2 - Way too tight! Feels like I'm wearing tourniquets.
Frequency: 2 - I like the way they look in the sock drawer and their uncomfortable.
The doodoo brown socks lying next to Mona Lisa were a gift from my mother-in-law which she bought from her local Brooks Brothers store. No, they don't heat up or vibrate -- that's the Brookstone store. These are just your average thin sock labeled truly as men's hosiery. Men's hosiery looks great for the first few wears and after that falls like Bea Arthur's cleavage. I think these were a Christmas present.
Attractiveness: 1 - What can I say, they're doodoo brown and they attract lint in the dryer.
Practicality: 4 - They work with jeans, khakis, suits, you name it.
Comfort: 5 - I admit that once you shake out these sad forlorn socks, they're comfy.
Frequency: 2 - I wore them more often when they were new. They're just so . . . flimsy.
The socks in the very middle have seen me through many a day in the office or at play. They are always a pair that makes it into my suitcase when I travel. Sometimes they'll go for two, maybe even three days at a time without being changed I like them so much. They too were a gift from my mother-in-law, and these socks just look sharp, feel sharp. I could go on.
Attractiveness: 5 - They're jazzy but not too busy. This picture doesn't capture they're beauty.
Practicality: 4 - They're starting to show some wear and tear in the heel but they're still a staple.
Comfort: 5 - Not too tight. Fit just right.
Frequency: 5 - Like I said, these see a lot of foot action.
You can't really see it from the photo, but the second to last pair of socks actually have little Ralph Lauren teddy bears on them. These were a gift from my own mother who happily catered to one of my wardrobe phases, wild socks. Aside from the one instance where I forked out twenty bucks for a pair on vacation, I typically wouldn't spend enough on my footwear to justify owning a pair of Ralph Lauren socks. This is why it's nice to have generous parents. These were also a hit when I was teaching elementary school.
Attractiveness: 5 - Again, these spark comments without being too gaudy. I like that in a sock.
Practicality: 5 - Ralph Lauren equals suit; teddy bears equal jeans. How can I go wrong?
Comfort: 5 - These socks have seen just enough wear that they're comfy and supportive.
Frequency: 5 - These socks score big in all 5 categories.
The little white ankle-high pair is one I think I stole from my father-in-law. Florida summers call for shorts and not even the octagenarians wear them with long socks anymore. The problem was I didn't own any suitable Florida socks and rather than venture into the local discount store, I just ventured into my father-in-law's sock stash. He has about a thousand.
Attractiveness: 2 - The only way they'd be a one is if they weren't easily bleachable. Practicality: 3 - I reserve these mainly for when I mow the lawn
Comfort: 5 - Socks really don't get more comfortable than these.
Frequency: 3 - They're good with shorts and slash or tennis shoes. That's about it.
Lastly that Christmas pair was also a gift from my mom. Thanksfully she gave them to me before Christmas that year. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but one of my pet peeves is receiving Christmasy things on Christmas day. How exactly is a guy really supposed to get full enjoyment out of such a gift? That's like giving a woman a pair of white shoes on Labor Day.
Unlike the Brooks Brothers socks my mother-in-law gave me that don't do anything special, the Santa socks did in fact make music. The little gadget inside the one of them stopped working a few Christmases ago so I eventually removed it, but when I first got them they had one of those music makers inside that makes the high-pitched electronic music like what you hear in musical greeting cards. Along with this pair I probably own at least three other pair of Christmas socks, all of which make it out at least once every holiday season.
Attractiveness: 4 - Well, this is in the eye of the beholder, but I like them.
Practicality: 1 - Other than Christmas, they're only use would be as a dog toy. You couldn't even make a decent sock puppet out of these.
Comfort: 4 - Now that the little noise maker is gone, they're much more comfy.
Frequency: 1 - The Chrismakuh season is it for these guys.
Well, that about does it for my sock drawer. Like I said, I do own more socks than these, but I think if I were empty out the whole drawer for the sake of a picture, you'd pretty much just see more of the same. Not only that but then my wife would walk in to the bedroom and say something like You better pick everyone of those up before I come back in this room.
Yeh, I think we'll just stick with these six.
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