Bright Starts Around We Go Show

You know when you hear some cheezoid song on the radio and for hours you can't seem to get it out of your head? That's kinda like I am now only I'm not hearing a song. I'm hearing the voices of the characters in my kid's favorite toy. I'm talking about the Bright Starts Around We Go Activity Center. If you've never seen one of these things (and if you don't have children under the age of two I can't imagine why you would), it's a pretty jazzy toy.

I guess you could say it's an activity table with a wheeled seat attached so the kid can scoot around to the different diversions. Meryl's favorite seems to be the five piano-like keys that make different sounds depending on what setting she has them on. Sure, she can play do re mi fa so and every possible combination thereof, but with the flip of a switch the friendly cartoon characters on the keys pipe up and either play a tune or say some catchy phrase.

There's a monkey, an elephant, a lion, a giraffe and a zebra, and they all play different styles of music. Furthermore they also have very distinct personalities and voices. The monkey has a Spanish or maybe an Argentinian accent. Oddly enough he's sporting a headdress kinda like Carmen Miranda only his is made up of blue balls. Blueberries maybe? I don't know. Anyway. He plays a salsa tune and when you flip the page of the music book that changes the settings, he says either I am a monkey; I love to swing from my tail, I am purple or I love to dance the salsa.

The elephant is orange and plays some New Orleans style jazz music. In addition to announcing his species, something they all do, he says I am orange and I have big ears.

The lion is yellow and he plays classical piano and sings Figaro figaro figaro.. His personality is probably the most distinct because he's clearly nelly. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying he's nelly. You can tell he's also kinda stuck on himself because before he announces his color he clears his throat like he's calling for your attention in a way the other animals don't. Also when he says I am a lion; I have a mane he makes it sound like he's better than the other animals because they don't have additional fur framing their faces the way he does. I don't know if he thinks his musical genre is more sophisticated than the others or if he just has king-of-the-jungle syndrome or what but there's definitely an air of superiority about him.

The giraffe is green. Go figure. Though I suppose this is no more out of the ordinary than a purple monkey or an orange elphant, huh? His accent is clearly Caribbean. I don't know if he's supposed to be Jamaican or a Trini or what but he's from somewhere in the West Indies. He plays reggae music complete with steel drums and says I have a loooong neck and I am a jammin' giraffe, Mon.

The blue zebra brings up the rear and he has a sort of thug quality about him. I don't just mean he has an urban dialect; I mean he comes across as militaristic or possibly just angry at The Man. He seems happy enough when he says I'm a hip hoppin' zebra, but when you press him again and he says I have stripes, it just sounds like he's annoyed that he had to deliver his line. Sure, his words say I have stripes but his tone says something more like Why don't you leave me alone and go bother that friend of Dorothy two doors down? Somehow though, I just picture him being the voice of reason. A protagonist caught up in the midst of animalia oblivion.

When Meryl bangs on the keys I hear them say these things over and over and over to the point that I think I'm hearing them when I'm not really hearing them anymore. Also, when my mind races I imagine them having conversations with each other kinda like the're acting out their own version of Toy Story. A scene might go something like this:

Setting: Backstage at the Bright Starts Round we Go

Lion: (clearing his throat as he runs his fingers through his mane) I am a lion. I have a mane.
Zebra: I don't know about these other people up in here but I for one am sick of your tired ass going on and on about your mane.
Lion: Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
Elephant: Ha! I have big ears.
Zebra: (turning to Elephant) Let me ask you something. Why when Twinkle Toes and I are having a conversation do you have to butt in and go and announce something so nebulous as the fact that you have big ears? If we can see his mane, we can see your big ears. Hell, the Weebles down the street at Playskool can see your big ears.
Monkey: I am a monkey. I love to swing from my tail.
Lion: (oblivious to the conversation) I am yellow.
Zebra: (turning to Monkey) And let me guess, you're purple, right?
Monkey: I love to dance the salsa.
Zebra: We know. And swing from your tail. Why don't you go back to whatever jungle you came from? We have enough problems here with you people takin' all our jobs.
Giraffe: (playing a calipso beat on his steel drums) I am blue.
Lion: Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
Zebra: (turning to Giraffe) What I said to monkey goes double for you. Who do you think you are anyway banging on that thing in here while some of us are trying to get ready for a show?
Giraffe: I am a jammin' giraffe, Mon.
Zebra: High on ganja is more like it.
Monkey: I am purple.
Elephant: Ha! I am orange.
Monkey: I love to swing from my tail.
Lion: (clearing his throat) I am yellow.
Zebra: Y'all can all just shut up.
Giraffe: I am blue.
Monkey: I love to dance the salsa.
Elephant: Ha! I have big ears.
Zebra: Can a zebra get a little respect around here? I said shut up.
Elephant: Ha! I am orange.
Giraffe: I am a jammin' giraffe, Mon.
Monkey: I am purple.
Zebra: (standing on his chair) SHUT UP!!!!!

(there is a brief moment of silence while all the animals fidget nervously at their dressing tables.)

Lion: (clearing his throat) I am yellow.