Where have all the bloggers gone?

A dear friend of mine begins his blog with the phrase If you haven't got anything to say, then by all means, start a blog.

I'm sorry, but isn't this just the truth? What other medium allows us to so blatantly self-indulge or better yet feign author status when in fact we are contributing little more to the literary universe than Marcia Brady's lost diary (if you don't remember, just google it.)

Early on in my career as a professional freelance pro bono autobiographic blogger, I posted about a lot of the goo you find when you surf through internet blogs: political rants, gratuitous profanity, the usual self-aggrandizement and so on. Since that time I've noticed a common trend among those of us who like to share the nothingness of our lives with anyone who might regularly read our blogs or at least stumble upon them after googling "free panties." The trend I'm referring to is the blogging exodus.

Some of the best blogs I've run across have gone through some sort of cyber restructuring or in some cases, just come to an end. There have been still more that I no longer link to simply because they're not updated with fresh material. And while at first I scoffed at those bloggers who made some final spiel before leaving the world o' blogs, I am the first to feel jilted when a blog just stops dead in its tracks without any explanation being given.

Take for example Soap in My Mouth. It was written by a fellow Atlanta blogger. I don't know her from Adam, but her stuff was funny, hip, and genuinely interesting to read. Her last post dates back to mid-January and it talks about her being ill. And that's it.

Well, did she ever recover?

Did she die?

Has she been incarcerated all this time? Without an update, we'll never know. And on some level, this bothers me.

Fat Asian Baby was one of those bloggers who on March 21, 2006 at least told us why she was leaving. One of the reasons she sited incidentally was the very reason also sited by Blonde Vigilante in one of her pre-exit posts, the fear of someone you know discovering your blog. Fat Asian Baby (whose also Jewish -- go figure) finally came back much to my delight, and Blonde Vigilante (whose not blonde -- go figure) shut down her discovered blog and started anew.

Again much to my delight. Her shit is funny. She starts her blog profile with Circle, circle, dot, dot...welcome to my blogspot. It just gets funnier from there. I don't know who it was who found out about her blog, but I hope they don't find this one. I don't want to have to chase her all around the innerwebs again.

The End is Now author is one of those who gave us notice that he was leaving but has since returned. His blog is currently under some sort of overhaul and a lot of his older stuff I can't find anymore, but he's definitely worth checking out. His funniest bit is one I couldn 't find on his own blog, but someone else out there copied and pasted. Why Lie? I Need A Pie is an absolute must to add to your reading list. The guy stands outside a McDonalds with a sign panhandling so he can get money to buy an apple pie. To this day, if my wife sees me reading his blog, she'll ask, "Is that the Ineedapie guy?"

Blog Antagonist is another one gave ample notice of her departure but then returned. We're glad she did of course. Anyone who titles her blog Blogs Are Stupid has got to rock.

I don't know why I thought this new trend deserved a post unto itself. This is not my own final remark. I don't plan on going anywhere. I just think it's kind of funny that along with this relatively new method of expression comes some emerging protocol for its end.

You know, I'm trying to come up with a somewhat interesting way of ending this entry, but I really just don't have anything further to say. Then again if my friend mentioned at the beginning is correct, having nothing to say is tantamount to having a blog.