Truth be told

Time is a precious thing when I've a kid who's sleeping and I've doubled my teaching schedule on top of that, but I'll make this brief. In response to which of my previous claims listed here was not 100% true, I'll preclude with this:

In Steve Martin's book, Shopgirl, the main character whose name is Mirabelle has a theory on lying that for whatever reason I think has merit. She says that in order for a lie to be effective it must have at least a certain minutiae of truth to it and it must also be embarrassing to tell. Each prerequisite serves its own purpose. A lie that has a certain element of truth to is easier to tell convincingly, and a lie that was somewhat embarrasing for the teller to tell is less likely to lead to having to answer further questions that, if answered wrong, might uncover the lie being told.

It is true that I do not wear underwear, but it is not true that I don't own a pair of button fly jeans. I do in fact own a single pair of button flies which makes the last statement untrue. Such is the beauty of the coordinating conjunction. Sneaky little devil.

In response to the few family members and lone googler who responded, the statements about driving the police car and chatting with the priest in the confessional were in fact true. My sister was quick to point out a typo on my part about the police car already running and the cop tossing me the keys. I'll be honest. I don't remember which part of that was true. Was the police cruiser already running when I jumped in, or did the cop toss me the keys to crank it? I can't remember. I would have corrected the discrepancy in my writing were I to have detected it first, but since it was already pointed out, I thought shame on me; I'll just leave it.

As to chatting with the priest, again that was 100% true. My wife and I were in Prague on vacation. He caught me snapping flash photography in the cathedral which is one of the no-no's though he didn't say so and I admired him for indirectly correcting my errant behavior by instead simply engaging me in conversation. He asked me what my religious background was, and I told him I was not Catholic but that my wife was. Apparently, wven as a non-native English speaker, he saw through this non-answer and asked me again what my religion was. When I confessed that I was without religion, Father Petr was quick to share that he felt the message of Jesus Christ was intended for all people because Jesus was the Prince of Peace. When i returned from Prague, I sent Father Petr and email stating that I had cancer and that my wife was in the cathedral that day lighting a candle for me to which he responded:

Thanks !

Praying for your healing.

Fr. Peter

Five months later after undergoing chemotherapy I wrote to Father Petr again updating him on my condition and thanking him for his prayers and kind words. He replied with these kind words. Now, I don't normally make personal emails public, but I think his message is one that would benefit others and therefore should be shared.

Dear Kevin,   I wish you a strong health, all the best for your common life, and the great gift to have a grateful heart in all moments of your life, even those less nice ones.   May the Little Jesus, the Prince of Peace, bless and protect you all!

Father Petr
Monastery of the Infant Jesus of Prague

Even four years later rereading his email makes me a little teary-eyed. I was a stranger he didn't know from Adam. Being the head abbot at what many vacationers see as a common tourist attraction and many Catholics see as a miracle site, he likely encounters thousands of people each day. Surely his in-box is overflowing, but he took the time and energy to write back to me, someone who lives a third of the way around the planet, and in a foreign language no less. I think that says a lot about him and his vocation.

Father Petr's commander-in-chief faces much criticism as he pays his first papal visit to the United States, one of which is that he hasn't done enough to evangelize and bring more sheep to the flock. I'm not Catholic so it's not really my place to make that criticism, but I would dare say that if he's trying to up his numbers, he should consider putting Father Petr in charge of the Programming and Outreach Department. Not only that but Father Petr gets my vote for sainthood.

No lie.